Right now, I am in a season of waiting. So many times lately, godly people have spoken into my life and "waiting" has been a reoccuring theme. If you're anything like me, those 2 words should never be put together! I found myself getting a little more frustrated as time went by because... Well, I just made my oatmeal in less than 2 minutes tops.
So in a world where instant oatmeal and direct deposit exist, who likes to wait?
Earlier this morning, I was sitting by the fireplace (which is one of my top favorite things to do in the whole world) reading 1 Samuel. I was blown away by Hannah's heart and her persistence in prayer. She was earnestly seeking the Lord for a son to give to her husband. In that day, barrenness had a huge stigma. It was considered by rabbi's to be a curse from God- an indication of sin or something wrong in their life. Despite the implications barrenness had on her, Hannah perservered in prayer; she went through years of waiting, weeping, and praying. One day, she prayed for a son yet again, and this time, she promises the Lord that if He granted her a son, she will dedicate his whole life to God as a way of giving him back.
God finally answered her prayer. He was just waiting for her prayers to be aligned with his heart. I love that God is never in a rush the way we are. He is so patient and gracious with us. Even though it was a "slow" process; years went by. Through that time, the Lord cultivated in Hannah more intimacy and more of a heart for Him. Initially, Hannah wanted a son to give to her husband, but God wanted a prophet (Samuel) to give to the nation. I'm SO glad that God always sees the bigger picture.
I want to be like Hannah and instead of looking at the areas of life that I am waiting for and; my areas of "barrenness," I want to give my future back to God before He even grants it to me. I want to always look to God to fulfill that empty space in my heart. I don't ever want to look to a job or to a person to fill me the way only God can. So whether it's nursing school, marriage, money, or you name it, I want to surrender my whole life every day, knowing that no matter what happens, He WILL use it for His purpose. He ALWAYS comes through for His kids. I'm thankful that whenever I have moments of selfishness, the Lord has a way of always bringing me back to His heart. I exist for Him. He does not exist for me. I want to live for a Kingdom that is much bigger than me and my little world.
Not my will, but YOURS be done, Lord.
So, here's to waiting and waiting well. :)