This life and the life to come.

I just love how the Lord reels me in and redirects me and my motives and my goals for how I want to go about my day. Of course, there is always choice involved, and sadly often times I make very self-ceneterd choices on how I want to use my time. But today, God pulled me back, called me to Him, and I responded and I couldn't have been happier on how I spent my time.

First of all: PLEASE DO call me crazy... 

I'm the kind of girl wheere I would rather wake up at 4:30 in the stinkin MORNING to work out and then go to work at 6:30 instead of going to work out at normal times after work.
And for me- working out and health is pretty important to me....
God kinda showed me that maybe it was TOO important to me right now. If I can rise up early to do something good for my physical being, why can't I wake up to take care of my spiritual being? We are both, and both is important to the Lord. But each has it's place... and according to God, godliness has value for NOW and LATER.


"...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" 1 Timothy 4:7-8

So, I'll definitely go with God on this one. :)


I've noticed that I can be in the Word and reading my Bible, but if it's in a busy state- if my mind is cluttered and I'm not allowing the Lord or even asking Him to speak, my heart isn't changed. It's still just as ugly and selfish. God will never force Himself upon us. He waits to be invited. He wants to speak to us and change us into who He made us to be.


"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20

Anyway, I'm just SO thankful that the Lord is always so good at giving me what I need. I thought I needed a workout, and I just needed time with Him. To REALLY quiet my heart and my soul and open up my life honestly before Him.

"Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." 1 Corinthians 10:14

From ALL forms. ANYTHING that is more of a priority to us than God. Anything that even lessens our passion for Him.

The places that many Christians run to for shelter can very easily become strongholds in our lives.
I want Jesus to be the center of my heart. Nothing else.

Ugly Plant in a Cold Season

I went on a run this afternoon and I couldn't find my iPod anywhere. Almost contemplated just not running at all since I didn't have anything to run to. Then, I figured... why not take advantage of silence? So I did. I went on a run. I quieted my heart before the Lord and since I wasn't so cluttered in my mind with music, I was able to hear the Lord a little more clearly.

I asked the Lord to speak to me, and He did. As I was running, I was looking around me and thinking how awesome God is that he is a God of HEALING, RESTORATION, and BEAUTY... among many other things. There was some funky plants I saw and I was thinking... Wow, you're ugly looking... But then I realized that they are in a cold season right now, and as seasons pass, they will become more beautiful.

Fall is a representation of shedding. The trees shed leaves; flowers shed off their petals; and we need to be daily shedding off our old self. The harsh cold and winter will allow parts of them to die and then be 'reborn' into something different. Something beautiful... Maybe even to the point where you wouldn't be able to recognize them as what they used to be.

Basically, I had a heart check... I am an ugly plant in a cold season. I just need to wait on the Lord and REALLY trust that He WILL DO what He set out to do.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

God ALWAYS keeps His promises. It's in His very nature. So, even me... Someone who can be SO stupid and SO stubborn... and make some of the same mistakes over and over again can change because God WILL do it. I just need to meet him with a willing and obedient heart.

I'm ready to keep pressing on... and let the old self die off and put on the new... I'm ready to let the Lord work and make some changes. "I can do ALL THINGS through Him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14

Waiting

Right now, I am in a season of waiting. So many times lately, godly people have spoken into my life and "waiting" has been a reoccuring theme. If you're anything like me, those 2 words should never be put together! I found myself getting a little more frustrated as time went by because... Well, I just made my oatmeal in less than 2 minutes tops.

So in a world where instant oatmeal and direct deposit exist, who likes to wait?

Earlier this morning, I was sitting by the fireplace (which is one of my top favorite things to do in the whole world) reading 1 Samuel. I was blown away by Hannah's heart and her persistence in prayer. She was earnestly seeking the Lord for a son to give to her husband. In that day, barrenness had a huge stigma. It was considered by rabbi's to be a curse from God- an indication of sin or something wrong in their life. Despite the implications barrenness had on her, Hannah perservered in prayer; she went through years of waiting, weeping, and praying. One day, she prayed for a son yet again, and this time, she promises the Lord that if He granted her a son, she will dedicate his whole life to God as a way of giving him back.

God finally answered her prayer. He was just waiting for her prayers to be aligned with his heart. I love that God is never in a rush the way we are. He is so patient and gracious with us. Even though it was a "slow" process; years went by. Through that time, the Lord cultivated in Hannah more intimacy and more of a heart for Him. Initially, Hannah wanted a son to give to her husband, but God wanted a prophet (Samuel) to give to the nation. I'm SO glad that God always sees the bigger picture.

I want to be like Hannah and instead of looking at the areas of life that I am waiting for and; my areas of "barrenness," I want to give my future back to God before He even grants it to me. I want to always look to God to fulfill that empty space in my heart. I don't ever want to look to a job or to a person to fill me the way only God can. So whether it's nursing school, marriage, money, or you name it, I want to surrender my whole life every day, knowing that no matter what happens, He WILL use it for His purpose. He ALWAYS comes through for His kids. I'm thankful that whenever I have moments of selfishness, the Lord has a way of always bringing me back to His heart. I exist for Him. He does not exist for me. I want to live for a Kingdom that is much bigger than me and my little world.

Not my will, but YOURS be done, Lord.

So, here's to waiting and waiting well. :)

My Harlow Adventuring Experience Thus Far...

I had my first 4 days at Harlow, and we are currently on a Father's Day break. I am so excited to have time away and spend it with family.

I hadn't been out at Harlow since '05 and it's a completely different experience than I last remembered. Obviously, it's a completely different crew for the most part, and I'm older and I'm different than the last time I was there. I was there years ago for the wrong reasons and I was very distracted. Plus, I was in high school... Don't think I need to say more than that. Other than... Yikes... This time, I want to be there for the Lord and for the kids.

Won't really go into too much detail, but prior to applying to camp, (even though it had been YEARS) I felt like God was leading me back to counsel there. I was really SUPER excited about going to camp, but then once I got there, I felt a little weird about it. Doubt started creeping in. I went through a point where I started wondering if I made a mistake coming out to camp. Being relatively outgoing and slightly extroverted, it weirded me out that I started shutting down. Even though I'm slightly extroverted (according to that one ENFJ test thing I recently took, I'm about 51%) I've always had an introverted side... but I've never been introverted to the point where it was almost what felt like 95% of the time. So that kinda freaked me out.

Not sure who's reading this, but if you are, I would love prayer for the next month. I want to have the right attitude and let go of any doubt or discouragement I may have and I want to be a channel of the love of God to these kids. I don't want to go through these next several weeks at camp, shutting down and not being open and available. I know these thoughts that I've been having are not from the Lord and I am trying to take every thought captive to God... Cuz HE is the One I need to look to. My identity is found in Him. My strength lies in Him. I am at the point, where I am realizing (yet again) HOW WEAK I am without Him. And I'm fine with that reminder. I never want to forget how dependent I am upon my Father and my Source. :)

I want to spend the next few weeks being a woman at rest, and being content in who He has made me to be. I don't want to be stressed out and striving. Being introverted is ok as long as it's not debilitating and taking away what I should be doing at camp. I want to trust and relax knowing that as long as I FULLY SURRENDER and have a willing and obedient heart, God can do ANYTHING cuz He's such a big, powerful, and mighty God. I'm SO blessed and thankful to be under His leadership. No matter hard and stretching it may be, I am ready for a heart change!!! :)

So who knows what the next month has for me, but I'm open to whatever God has.
Not my will, but YOURS be done, Lord. :]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I am excited for those of you who are sending me all sorts of fun mail! Love you all! :)

HONEY ♥

Hey hey hey!

Tomorrow morning bright and early, I will be heading out on a little Eugene adventure. I will be a senior camp counselor at Camp Harlow for the next several weeks! I won't be able to call, text, or email hardly at all....

A few of you asked for my camp address and were interested in writing me and sending me all sorts of fun mail stuff! :)

and I would LOVE THAT!!! It will be so so fun to get letters. There's something so great about real letters versus texting and email. If you write me, I will try my very best to write you back! 

So if this is you......

Write it out to "Honey"

3850 County Farm Road

Eugene, OR 97408