My Harlow Adventuring Experience Thus Far...

I had my first 4 days at Harlow, and we are currently on a Father's Day break. I am so excited to have time away and spend it with family.

I hadn't been out at Harlow since '05 and it's a completely different experience than I last remembered. Obviously, it's a completely different crew for the most part, and I'm older and I'm different than the last time I was there. I was there years ago for the wrong reasons and I was very distracted. Plus, I was in high school... Don't think I need to say more than that. Other than... Yikes... This time, I want to be there for the Lord and for the kids.

Won't really go into too much detail, but prior to applying to camp, (even though it had been YEARS) I felt like God was leading me back to counsel there. I was really SUPER excited about going to camp, but then once I got there, I felt a little weird about it. Doubt started creeping in. I went through a point where I started wondering if I made a mistake coming out to camp. Being relatively outgoing and slightly extroverted, it weirded me out that I started shutting down. Even though I'm slightly extroverted (according to that one ENFJ test thing I recently took, I'm about 51%) I've always had an introverted side... but I've never been introverted to the point where it was almost what felt like 95% of the time. So that kinda freaked me out.

Not sure who's reading this, but if you are, I would love prayer for the next month. I want to have the right attitude and let go of any doubt or discouragement I may have and I want to be a channel of the love of God to these kids. I don't want to go through these next several weeks at camp, shutting down and not being open and available. I know these thoughts that I've been having are not from the Lord and I am trying to take every thought captive to God... Cuz HE is the One I need to look to. My identity is found in Him. My strength lies in Him. I am at the point, where I am realizing (yet again) HOW WEAK I am without Him. And I'm fine with that reminder. I never want to forget how dependent I am upon my Father and my Source. :)

I want to spend the next few weeks being a woman at rest, and being content in who He has made me to be. I don't want to be stressed out and striving. Being introverted is ok as long as it's not debilitating and taking away what I should be doing at camp. I want to trust and relax knowing that as long as I FULLY SURRENDER and have a willing and obedient heart, God can do ANYTHING cuz He's such a big, powerful, and mighty God. I'm SO blessed and thankful to be under His leadership. No matter hard and stretching it may be, I am ready for a heart change!!! :)

So who knows what the next month has for me, but I'm open to whatever God has.
Not my will, but YOURS be done, Lord. :]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I am excited for those of you who are sending me all sorts of fun mail! Love you all! :)

HONEY ♥

Hey hey hey!

Tomorrow morning bright and early, I will be heading out on a little Eugene adventure. I will be a senior camp counselor at Camp Harlow for the next several weeks! I won't be able to call, text, or email hardly at all....

A few of you asked for my camp address and were interested in writing me and sending me all sorts of fun mail stuff! :)

and I would LOVE THAT!!! It will be so so fun to get letters. There's something so great about real letters versus texting and email. If you write me, I will try my very best to write you back! 

So if this is you......

Write it out to "Honey"

3850 County Farm Road

Eugene, OR 97408

Becoming Eve ♥

Fallen Eve demands that people 'come through' for her to fill a void.

Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is FREE to offer to others, FREE to desire, and WILLING to be disappointed.

Fallen Eve has been WOUNDED by others and WITHDRAWS in order to protect herself from further harm.

Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship. Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with the Lord, she can RISK being vulnerable with others and offer her TRUE SELF.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to NO ONE, not even an animal. Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. 
But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- IT WILL CHANGE.
It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...
The only place outside of Heaven you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell."
(C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

Every time I re-read that quote by C.S. Lewis, part of my heart wakes up again. Last night at the Ruth study, we learned about Yare (greek word for fear), which means "to intellectually anticipate evil."

I was really convicted by that because we are not supposed to live in fear.How often do I live my life out of fear- letting the past hurts and regrets dictate my future. What kind of life is that? A selfish and sad one. Plus living in fear shows that something deep down in my heart doesn't trust that God is bigger than that. It shows that somehow I am not trusting Him to take care of my heart so I have to do it myself. And that's really dumb! He has NEVER let me down.
God is too gracious and too good for me to keep living with "old tapes running through my head (quoting my wonderful mentor)."  Today, I am consciously making the choice to take every thought captive to my Savior and my Redeemer and let Him reveal to me what is true while getting rid of the gunk.

No matter how cruel and awful life gets, I don't ever want to live a life of self-preservation. I don't want my life to be all about me. How empty is that? That's not the life we are called to live. I want to live life abundantly; falling in love with my Maker, and being poured out to bless and love others. Jesus is that never-ending fountain that I must drink of first, in order to channel it out towards others. You can't give what you don't have- We must be filled up in order to pour out.

He offers living water to all who are thirsty. What are we waiting for? :)

Top 10 Reasons Why I LOVED My Extended Spring Break!

Since tonight is the end of my "Extended Spring Break," I only thought it was appropriate to list off all the wonderful things about my 6 weeks of break (no job+ no school= blissful little adventures every single day)

1. God is SO stinkin' GOOD. By His grace, I am whole again. During the first couple weeks of my break, I was having a hard time. I did some "soul searching" and took time to seek His face and figure a bunch of stuff out about myself and life, and He honestly does do "exceedingly abundantly beyond all that {I} could ever ask or think." He has and is continuing to clean out the closet of my heart. He gently started chipping away at things that needed to go to make me more and more into His likeness. Not fully there yet (obviously), but I am excited for what's ahead! Lord, I continue to lay down my agenda and my plans in exchange for You and Your Kingdom. :)

2. I picked up running again. I can run an hour and a half non-stop, but have been running about an hour regularly cuz I get bored after a while... Unless I had a reason to train. Half marathon? People keep asking me, maybe one day I will give in. Until then, it's just for fun and to clear my head and something about being outside makes you come alive!

3. Girlfriends. I have had more time to finally get together and spend quality time with my girls, which is a nice change for students pursuing the medical field. Your life goes down the drain.So it was wonderful being able to do whatever I wanted!

4. Reading. I'm a nerd, and I have had time to read. I am reading Mere Christianity, Crazy Love, and Captivating (again). I am almost done!

5. I got inked! I have two tattoos and I couldn't be happier about them! I got "free" on my wrist to represent the freedom I have in Christ. Also something that was continuously on my heart was "It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us FREE. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)"
It's a reminder now that I have the choice every day to be obedient and faithful to the Lord. I don't have to walk back into my old way of living. I can shake off the chains that once bound me. I am free. I also got "my joy knows no bounds" on my foot, which represents all the joy the Lord has given me. Depression and anxiety is no longer a part of my life. That part is dead and He has given me more joy in my life than my body can contain!



6. REST. In one sense, I had a few weeks where I could sleep in and take my time in the morning. In another sense, my heart is at rest. Because of God and His goodness, I am SO content with life and where I am at. I feel refreshed and recharged just in time to start CNA stuff.

7. I went on a RAD beach trip with my BFF and other wonderful older women of the Lord. Learned a lot from watching them and spending time with them. Got to eat a ton of chocolate and dessert (which is always good) and stay up late talking.

8. New friends. Which I am always down for. Met two rad guys at the Lodge a few weeks ago, and have been hanging out every single day ever since usually till 3-4am. Coincidentally (or not) enough, we all ended up having the same "extended spring break." They start their jobs tomorrow and I start my CNA tomorrow. Hello, responsibility. It's been a while. :)

9. Learned/Still Learning that sometimes the best things come in the most unlikely places especially when you are not looking for it. God has a way of surprising you.

10. Probably the BEST reason that I loved this time off: I am learning that God absolutely LOVES us more than I could ever understand. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Why do we hold onto control instead of giving it to Him? He has never steered us wrong and given us any reason not to trust Him. Once I gave my dreams and hopes to Him, He took them and showed me that He can do so much better with the dreams He's placed in my heart than I ever could. I just have to be willing to let go. 

Alright kids, I should be in bed now since I have to wake up and be smart tomorrow! Have a fabulous week! :)

Portrait of an ENFJ (Me!)

ENFJ: "The Giver:"

Extroverted (1%)  iNtuitive (12%) Feeling (88%) Judging (11%) =Extroverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition

-I am slightly more extroverted (51%) than I am introverted (49%).

-Primary mode of living is externally based. I deal with things based on how I feel about them

-Secondary mode is internal, where I deal with things by my intuition.

-Have excellent people skills (more so than any other type)

-Understand and care about people, and have a special talent of bringing out the best in others

-Main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people.
-Focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others.

-Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. *Muahaha... just kidding. :)
-Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

-Global learners. They see the big picture.
-ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance.
-ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs.Conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly than those of NFP.
-ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people.
-ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

-ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. 

This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone.

-ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. 

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.
-Have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal.

Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. 

-People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with.
-They are typically very straight-forward and honest.  
-Usually exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. 

-They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching. 
-Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm

-Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

-ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship. 

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

-In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. 
-This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. 
-As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others. 

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling:
Auxiliary: Introverted Intuition
Tertiary: Extraverted Sensing
Inferior: Introverted Thinking

Taken from Personality Page

If you are interested in knowing yours: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp  
If you take this quiz, leave a comment and let me know what you got! It's fun! :)